top of page

Hello everyone !

I feel good tonight, have been drinking coffee. My holiday is gonna be nice. I have slept all day., still have sleep, deserved to be little lazy, I think. The weather is not hot because it is night. I hear the sound of music played in a wedding ceremony in the town. It is a nice summer night.

Suddenly I think of my past, of how I was succesful and brilliant, how I got the rewards. People were congratulating me, every people in my town was talking about my success. But this thought does not last long. I come back to present and become aware of my present status that I am disabled.

My family were careful about me. My relatives really loved me when I was a child. I have lived a healthy childhood. After I became 15, I started a dormitory high school in İzmir. I have never been a hardworking person, a feature which my school did not want. Me and my friends were hanging out in the campus which our school located in. İzmir was a really good city.

But something was wrong inside of me. I said myself that I am not that hardworking and successful, on the other hand could not reject that I am brilliant. This conflict was going on. As a teenager I was trying to give meaning to all these things. My family were aware that I was not able to study too much, nor I have to. Yhey were just waiting for me to solve this conflict myself.

I had a science project in İzmir with a friend. We were doing presentations in a fair. I was good at convincing, doing presentation and taking a break for cigarette and yoga. We went to Ankara, stayed in a hotel, did our presentation. We got a reward from government. It was a pleasure.

But after some time, I started to think that I am not that person who was really successful. My personality was not stable at that time. I gave up the project, and all my relatives, family were shocked. They thought that I would have a nice life. But I was not willing to.

Now I think I don't have to regret or be proud of, but know who I really am. I have accepted my drawbacks, I love myself, and feel confident. All these things that I lived were small fluctuations but they were amplified by environment. I know who I am in really, independent of environment and those fluctuations. Yes I have a disability, but I am present at the same time. I am at peace with all being things surrounding me.

I started fast to life, got rewards and congratulations, but I had to have a personality at the same. Finally I understand all wisdom and build that person of who I am. I am thankful for all, confident, feeling special. and grateful of my past and present environment. They were nice.

-Onur CAN-

Living With Psychosis

1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Hi Again It's Onur, so Smile

Good morning everyone and a good day. I am struggling with financial problems nowadays. I have conflict with my family because of these troubles. But it is okay. I want to say good bye to all bad inte


I have always believed that people can do what they can imagine. However real life brings us limitations. Health and finance don't let us do what we imagine sometimes. Despite our real limitations, th

This post is an expression of my feelings

I have been fighting with atypical psychosis for 10 years. My personality was completely different than the person who I am. I was academically successful before my disease. But the person I became wa


Hi world ! If you would like to help us...

bottom of page